A Picture of a Godly Marriage

February 7, 2024 / by Beth Ann Deal

Each for the other, both for the Lord. This expression was shared by a pastor and adopted by my parents early on in their marriage and an expression shared and passed down through the years to myself and my two sisters, Pam and Allison.

We have watched it serve our parents well and it has exemplified a marriage to both honor and learn from in our own marriages. And now that of several married grandchildren.

My parent’s met while in high school and despite dating others, they always seemed to end up back together. School dances, attending movies, 4-H, church youth activities, and driving around Steak ‘n Shake (yes that was a thing!) were dating activities of the day! Both would tell you that they grew up in a great time in America when families were so happy to be reunited after WW2. The community of Danvers honored God and country, and while their family backgrounds were different their family values were similar.

Before my mom’s senior year of high school, her family moved to Peoria. She then went on to attend Bradley while my dad, after attending Iowa State, farmed with his father, worked out East with cattle, and served in the Army Reserves. Despite long distances, they knew they were to be together and married on a warm late summer afternoon in 1961.

While they began their marriage with very little but love, they sought the Lord’s wisdom and guidance and they would be quick to tell you how blessed they have been as they have grown closer to each other and to the Lord over these many years. And as a daughter, I would say I have been very blessed to watch God’s faithfulness in their marriage over many of those years and to glean from it.

Here are a few takeaways.

Marriage is for keeps.
Through thick and thin, my parents taught us girls to love our husbands through the ups and downs, highs and lows, joys and sorrows of life. Marriage is a lifetime commitment to each other. Both of my parents would be quick to tell you that while marriage is challenging, by praying with each other and for each other daily and reading His Word together, God has been faithful. Both recognize that marriage is a covenant relationship, and when both husband and wife belong to the Lord, He is the one that keeps you together. Commitment keeps you together through hard moments and seasons.

Marriage requires shared goals.
My parents have had the same goal for their children, grandchildren, and now 3 great grandchildren—to all know and love the Lord. Growing up, we never missed church and serving the Lord within the church walls was something I witnessed my parents faithfully do. While living on little money as a newly married couple, they never went into debt and always had a financial plan. It was always stressed that our finances belonged to the Lord; we were to tithe and be good stewards of God’s gifts. When I witness finances being one of the leading causes of divorce, I feel blessed to have the example set by my parents for shared goals spiritually, financially and other areas as well.

Marriage is enjoying time with one another.
Early on in my parents’ marriage they enjoyed square dancing and a young married group at the church they attended. As the years went on they got involved in their daughters’ church, school and 4-H activities and enjoyed being with other parents and families with similar interests. And now as empty nesters they enjoy spending time with family and friends, playing games, listening to sermons, reading, studying God’s Word with their East White Oak small group, and wintering in Florida. They thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, often laughing and reminiscing, and I love witnessing the “spark” they still have for one another.

Marriage is sacrificial.
I have witnessed both of my parents sacrificially serve the other at various times in their marriage be it through a health challenge, a relinquishing of one’s way of thinking to do what the other one thought best, or a giving of their time and talent to support the other when needed. God and family always come first.

While not perfect, my parents have set for each of their children and grandchildren a picture of marriage that reflects the beautiful relationship between Christ and His church. Their example has brought a joy filled, secure, and God honoring way of life that is my prayer not only for my own marriage but for all marriages as we seek to live out….Each for the other, both for the Lord.

 

Beth Ann and husband Sam have been a part of East White Oak for 30 years. They have two children and two grandchildren. In her years at East White Oak, Beth Ann has taught Sunday School and Women’s Bible Studies. She has also served on the Missions Committee, Short term missions trips, Welcome Team, and Prayer Corp. Beth Ann recently retired as a high school math teacher and presently works for ISU supervising student teachers while also serving as a Substitute Teaching Leader for Bible Study Fellowship.