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February 7, 2024 / by Whitney Huettemann

Singleness is not punishment; it is a gift. Being single gives me extra time to serve the Kingdom of God. I am tethered only to Jesus.

I have the extra time to wholeheartedly prepare for the coming of my only certain Groom. My best life as a single person is maximizing my freedom with my time and resources to grow my faith and seek the interests of others.

To learn love, I had to make Jesus my first love. If the Lord has a spouse in my future, my love for him will be merely an image of God’s love. The image of love that I may one day share with a husband cannot truly fill me. However, I am filled with God’s undying love that overflows to other people. I grow in intimacy with Jesus in the quiet, secret places.

I don’t need to earn my Heavenly Father or my earthly father’s love. I am loved as I am. For years, I felt like a burden in my relationships. I didn’t believe in redeeming love for myself. After years of therapy to reframe my mind, and sitting before God, I embraced God’s love instead of pushing it away.

I worked through my past traumas so that my future would be free from the bondage of unhealed hurt. Deep wounds left to fester are certain to become obstacles to healthy future relationships.

I try not to escape my situation, rather to live alert and ready to serve others. Being soberminded and focused is hard for me because I am easily distracted. But when I am focused on the needs around me, I work hard.

Being a nurse is challenging work that requires my attention, but it is rewarding work. Additionally, I like to go on international and local mission trips. Missions has taught me to open my eyes to hurting people.
After work, I have fun within the protective boundary lines of God’s commands. I don’t withhold good things from myself out of shame or pity. I enjoy my time learning new skills and hobbies to become more well-rounded. I do sports, read and write, and travel.

I like to focus on the good in front of me with gratitude, not complaining or worrying about what I don’t have. Contentment is key. One good thing in front of me is my community of family and friends. My singleness can lead to isolation if I let it, so I choose to lean into God and my community.

I listen to the voice of truth. The Word of God and my inner circle encourage me not to settle for anything less than God’s best. They keep me accountable. Moreover, my parents affirm my value and never pressure me to get married. This has given me the ability to wear singleness with confidence.

Jesus hears my desires and refines them. Marriage is one of my heart’s desires, but I have yet to find out if this desire is the gift God has for me. Singleness or marriage, His gifts are always perfect. In the meantime, I get to spend my beautiful life growing closer to Jesus, serving others, and enjoying the journey.


Whitney Huettemann serves as a Registered Nurse at Martin Health Center of Westminster Villages. She graduated with her Associate’s Degree in Health Sciences from Cornerstone University. Then she bridged to the University of Detroit Mercy where she received her Bachelor’s in Nursing degree. She is the daughter of Dr. Jeff & Jennifer Huettemann. She actively participates in East White Oak’s young adult ministries, called The Bridge. In her spare time, she enjoys traveling, spending time with her family and friends, and playing sports.

Return to February Oak Leaf

February OakLeaf Articles:

Singleness and Marriage by Pastor Scott Boerckel
Blessed and Single by Sandy Way
Thriving as a Single Christian by Whitney Huettemann
Undivided Devotion by Bryon Phinney
A Picture of a Godly Marriage by Beth Ann Deal
Navigating Marital Conflict by Keith Studnicki
What if your marriage isn’t what you expected? by Susie Warren
Small Groups Strengthen Marriages by Pastor Justin Waples